Save Me
by Xxxx4evaSummerxxxx
Summary: "You're going to save me, aren't you"/ Riley always tries to save Maya. But there is something that Riley could never save Maya from. Herself.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: Hello Girl Meets World fans! I'm Summer and I just wanna say I love this show so much. I'm 16 and I'm not ashamed to say it. I love the friendship between of Riley and Maya and how they take care of each other. I also like how the Matthews family looks after Maya. So I decided to write a fanfic based off their relationship. I find it comforting that they show that not all families are perfect and that sometimes friends are just as helpful and loving. I really feel like I can connect to this show. In middle school, seventh grade I went through depression and my friends helped me. So I wanted to write a story reflecting off of that. I figured this was the perfect fandom, it also helps I truly love the show. Also ever since Maya called Riley a plant in the episode where Missy was flirting with Lucas, I figured it would be a cute nickname. Also, this story has mentions on self harm. I hope you enjoy the story. Sorry for the terribly long authors note.**

Maya looked down at her drawings. She sighed. She looked over at the time. Her clock glowed 12:00. She has been up drawing, instead of her homework. Ever since Cory gave her colored pencils she had no been able to stop drawing. Inspiration came from everywhere. She tried to do her homework, she really did. She had her textbooks open, she stared at them. She got nothing accomplished. So she grabbed the colored pencils, and the notebook containing no notes and began.

The drawing she did tonight was just shades of red. At first the red in a light shade, the lower down the paper the darker the red became. It was something she could do when she felt like cutting. She reseached it on the smartphone Cory got her, she'll never admit it but it was the nicest thing an adult ever done for her. She had already cut that night, she didn't want to do it again. The red on her paper on reminded her more of the red on her wrist. She didn't want this cutting thing to get any worse.

It started when her parents started arguing. They screamed and cursed. Maya remembers hiding under the bed, covering her eyes. She remembered how she cried, and wanted them to stop. She hated herself for not being enough for them to stop. So, she started a couple months ago. Her parents got so mad at each other, they rarely came home, to pissed to see each other. Visiting home frequently enough to provide food. But that's it. Ever since then, Maya has been on her own.

Everytime she cut, she thought of Riley. Riley is the one person who would ever be able to convince her to stop. Not that Riley knew. Maya was convinced her innocent friend would be able to handle her burden. She countlessly told Riley to stop trying to save her, she simply wasn't worth it. But Riley insisted. Which is the only reason Maya is alive. Everytime Maya thinks of cutting just one more time, or cutting deeply, she thinks of Riley. What her reaction would be like. That is what gets Maya to drop the blade, and walk away.

Sure Riley could save Maya from failing grades, Farkle's affection and save her from trouble. But Riley could never save her from herself. Because, no matter how many things Riley crosses her mind, she still does it. Then she hates herself even more. She never told anybody of her cutting. It is her little secret. She intends on it staying that way.

Maya pulled up her long sleeve, and traced her cuts and sighed. She looked down at her picture. She closed the notebook and put it in her backpack with her textbooks. _Another assignment not done_. She thought. She quickly pulled down her sleeve, not wanting to see her damage anymore. She was nervous of Mr. Matthews reaction to her not doing her homework. She didn't want him thinking she was a terrible for Riley. She began to imagine the reaction of Mr. Matthews finding out she cut. He would probably tell Riley to never talk to her again. Then she imagined Riley's reaction. How her lip would quiver, and the tears would silently roll down her cheek. Riley was never one to cry loudly, Maya knew. She imagined how Riley would hug her, and beg her to stop.

Because for some wierd reason, Riley loves her. For some reason, Mr. Matthews always had some way to show her that he cares. For some reason Mrs. Matthews always made sure she had something to eat. For some reason they care about her. She will never understand why. She will never understand why people who aren't her family care for her more than her actual family does.

The thought of Riley, her little plant helped her fall asleep.

* * *

"Hey Maya, I made chocolate chip pancakes" Topanga said as soon as Maya walked in. She usually makes healthy oatmeal for the family before school. But she had been noticing how sad Maya had been, she decided that making her favorite would cheer her up. Cory noticed as well, but didn't want to say anything.

"There is a plate with pancakes for you" Topanga said. Maya smelled the heavenly aroma, but shook her head no. "No thanks" She didn't want to bother the Matthews family more than she already has.

"It isn't an option, sweetie" Topanga said softly. "Thanks" she said quietly as she made her way to the table. Riley hugged Maya. "Good morning Maya" Riley's hand brushed her wrist. "Ouch" she hissed. Riley's eye went wide in concern. "Maya, you okay?" She felt all of the Matthews eyes on her, even little Auggie.

Maya nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine" she lied. Riley smiled, falling for it. Cory and Topanga exchanged worried looks. She went back to eating the pancakes. "These are really good " Maya complimented, trying to get the attention off of herself.

"Thank you Maya, atleast someone apperiates my cooking" She teased, facing Cory. Cory gasped and got up. "Thank you for the amazing breakfast" He said giving her a quick kiss, which got a chorus of "ewwwws" from the kids. Everyone ended up laughing.

"I'm going to pack up my backpack" Riley accounced once she finished her breakfast, then skipped into her room. Maya still struggled to eat one pancake, the thought of cutting still lingering in her mind.

Auggie, who was hyped up on pancake sryup, screamed. "Me Too! Me Too!" he ran into his room. Maya smiled and tried to finish her breakfast. Cory ran after Auggie. "Don't get sryup on your pillows" Maya and Topanga laughed. Then Topanga sat down next to Maya. "How have you been feeling, Maya?" she asked her concerned.

Maya stared at her pancakes, not wanting to look her in the eyes. "Good" she lied, she felt bad for lying. But what other choice does she have. "I've been worried about- Maya cut Topanga off. "No need to worry I'm fine" Maya got up and ran into Riley's room.

Riley looked at her best friend in concern. " What did you guys talk about?" "You and Lucas" she lied. "What?!" Riley screamed. Maya burst out laughing. "I'm lying" she admitted to a frozen in fear Riley. Riley gasped. "Maya, don't do that"

"Come on Riley, even if we did, you'll be okay" Maya said.

Riley smiled. " You're right. I will be okay, because I have you" Maya would never admit it to Riley's face, but she loved it when she randomly says she is glad to have her around.

"You are growing pretty nicely, little plant" Maya teased. Rileys ever growing smile got brighter. "Thanks Maya" Maya put her arms around Riley's shoulder.

"Anytime Riley" Maya said. Riley got her backpack on. "Ready for another day?" Riley asked. Maya gave her a reassuring smile. Because no matter how many times Riley saved Maya. Maya tries to save Riley, by telling her things will be okay. "Ready as I"ll ever be"

**a/n: So that is chapter one, there will be probably be a two or three chapter story. It was suppose to be a one-shot, but it would've been really, really long. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please review and tell me if I should continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited the story! It truly means a lot. I hope everyone who read the first chapter will like this one. Also, I use to do this thing where I would give a shoutout to the people who reviewed the first chapter, so far. So thank you to Smileychameleon,Swiftie24, Guest, Unknown, Jadebreeze95, cowgirlangel95 and Jeremy Shane! Thank you for the very kind words, you guys inspired me to continue. Also there is a new episode tonight, anyone else excited? **

Maya began to feel paranoid the moment she walked into history class. She didn't have time to attempt to pay attention. She usually tries to listen so sees that she makes some type of effort. She didn't want to lose her friendship with Riley over her lack of care for her education. She could barely look at Riley's dad without thinking of the conversation she had with her mother eariler that day. It made her feel like they knew her secret. It really got under her skin. She had no idea what she would do if they would ever find out.

In the beginning of class, Cory asked her if she was okay, infront of the whole class. She quickly replyed with a yes, and blanky stared at the textbook. After that she felt everyone look at her throughout the rest of the class. She felt Riley giving her worrisome looks every now and then. Then Maya would smile, to assure Riley that everything was okay.

She had this terrible feeling that Riley was going to find out. But when that thought came, Maya quickly pushed it out of her mind. She hid it this long, she could hide it for longer. She hates lying, but she had to. What other choice did she have? Her mind being consumed with all these thoughts that she had no idea class ended. Lost in her thoughts, she just looked at the textbook.

"Maya!" A concerned Riley yelled. "I've been calling your name for like five minutes" Maya looked up at her best friend and scanned the rest of the classroom. Much to her surprise it was empty. "Where did everyone go?" Riley laughed. "The bell rang, class is over silly" "Oh" Maya said as she got up and stretched.

Maya looked at Cory who was sitting behind his desk, staring at her in concern. She quickly turned her gaze back to Riley. "Are you okay Maya? You seemed like you weren't paying attention today" Cory said.

"No offense, that is nothing new" Maya said. Riley let out a little laugh.

"Maya if you ever need to talk- Maya cut off Cory before he even got started. "You know what?" Maya said, as she grabbed Riley's hand. "We have a quiz next class" She said as she led them out the room. "We really have to go"

Riley, who was confused just played along. "Bye, Daddy" she called out when they were out of the classroom. "Bye girls" he called out distantly. Once they were safely away from the classroom. "Maya, we don't have a quiz" Riley said, staring at her friend, with a little head tint in confusion. "Do you even know what class we have next?"

Maya scattered her brain for her schedule. She came to a blank. It was probably the one that she didn't do the homework for last night. " We have p.e" Riley reminded. " We are working on the health unit of class. You were suppose to make the food pyramid for homework" she continued. Maya just nodded. "Oh, I thought the quiz was today" she lied.

"No it is next Friday. But hey, you actually cared enough to remember" Riley said with a smile. "That is awesome" Maya wanted to laugh at her cute reaction, but she didn't have the energy. "Thanks plant, you just keep on growing better and better" Riley's smile got wider. "Really?" Her eyes got wide in excitment.

"Yes, really" Riley giggle." Yay!" _Atleast I can make her happy_ Maya thought. The walked into their classroom. Luckily for Maya, Farkle wasn't in this class. She honestly never had a problem with him, she just couldn't deal with his flirting today. She always question his affection for her, it never made sense. But a lot of things about Farkle never made sense to her.

Maya took her usual seat next to Riley, who already had her notebook opened and was ready for class. "Today we will be focusing on mental health, because how we feel about ourselves is just as important as how healthy we are" The teacher said. _Wonderful_ Maya thought bitterly _Just what I need, a lesson about my ever growing self esteem. _

Maya felt herself panic inside a little, she hoped nothing would be to triggering. Riley looked at her again. Maya calmed down a little, trying to appear as normal for the sake of her best friend. Maya began sketching on the corner of the desk to calm her nerves. A small piece of paper landed on her desk, as the teacher talked. She recongized Riley's girly handwriting. She made the "o" flowers. _Oh, my little plant_ Maya thought with a smile.

_Are you okay? _It read. Maya replied with _No worries little plant, enjoy the sun. I saw Lucas smile at you eariler _She acutally did, she thinks it is so adorable, her friends first crush. She also knew it would get Riley thinking of Lucas, and not worrying about her. In the corner of the paper she drew a flower and the sun. Then she returned it back to Riley.

"Alright class, we will be watching a documentry about self harm" The teacher said. Maya felt her stomach drop. She closed her eyes hoping this was a dream. A terrible, terrible dream. After that she just began sketching. She never looked up at the video. In the corner of he eye, she saw Riley's reaction of the video. She looked close to tears. Maya felt her heart beat fiercly, unable to handle this.

Maya sketched everything on the walls in the room, the posters, the artwork, everything. The video ended, then the teacher said. "Alright class any thoughts?" The room was filled with a buzz. Voices over other voices. " I only listen to people who raise their hand" The teacher said.

Many hands were raised. She called on a kid whos name Maya never cared enough to remember. " I think that it is really stupid. People who do that are pathetic. They need to get over themselves and learn how to face their problems" Mumbled sounds of argement followed. Maya felt sick. Her head began to spin.

"It doesn't solve anything. People who do that are an idiot" Someone else said. Some people in the class agreed. Then, Maya felt her world stop, she saw Riley raise her hand. _Please, Riley no_ Maya begged in her mind _Don't agree with them_

Before Riley could get a word out, Maya blurted. "May I be excused?" The teacher didn't even answer. Maya walked out of the class, then ran to the bathroom, so locked herself in the big stall. Her head spun and she felt like she couldn't breath. _I can't cut here, not now _She thought, she figured Riley would come once class ended. She didn't want to explain why she ran out.

But everyones comments were playing over again in her head. She couldn't take it. _I never cut in school before _She thought. _Well, there is a first time for everything._ She felt her pocket for her little razor blade. She pushed up her sleeve, looking at the damage she did last night and then added to them. She bit her lip to avoid crying.

She pressed the blade harder into her skin, causing it to bleed. She watched the blood drip into the sink.

"Maya?" She froze. It was Riley. She dropped the blade it landed in the sink with a little clink.

"Maya are you okay?"

**a/n: Well I hoped you enjoyed chapter two. Sorry for the lack of interaction with other characters, like Farkle and Lucas. I really just wanted the story to focus on the girls friendship and how much the Matthews care for Maya. Please tell me if you liked it, or if I need to improve anything. Thanks for reading. Enjoy your day**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: Hey everyone! Just have a couple of things I wanna mention before I continue. First I'm going to do my shout outs. Thank you for reviewing to Smileychameleon, Awesomesauce2000, cowgirlangel95, Swiftie95, Guest, Jeremy Shane, AlliaErnest, Ann-Elise, Marylin, Madi, The Marauder's Secret, Kdzgirl1129, SwoBroMaddie, Em, Leshonte, Cooldude46, hey write more, marty ,rachel, keith, barbara, yoitsyourboyjp, pleasewriteee, and girlecupcake15! Everyone is so sweet, and the reviews are so thoughtful and you guys are really really nice. So thank you. Also I had some people comment saying that they can relate to Maya. I know how that feels, because I based Maya off of my 12 year old self. So if anybody needs anybody to talk to, I'm here. So with all that said and done, here is chapter three. **

"Maya are you okay?"

Maya quickly picked up her razor blade and slid it in her back pocket. She pulled her sleeve down. She took some deep breaths.

"I'm okay Riley" Maya lied, she tried to keep her voice normal, but it cracked a little.

"Don't lie Maya" Riley said on the other side of the bathroom door, which surprised Maya. Riley never called her out on lying before, ever.

"I heard something fall" Riley continued. Maya tried to think of an excuse. She prepared for this moment, she planned everything she would say if Riley would come close to finding out. She could use the old cat excuse, but Riley knows her to well to know she doesn't have a cat.

"I'm okay Riley" Maya said this time, with a little bit more force. Her voice was less shaky.

"If you are okay then come out" Riley said. Maya closed he eyes, and took a deep breath. _She isn't going to find out_, she tells herself,_ she isn't going to know._

Maya looked down at her wrist to make sure it was covered, then she unlocked the door and walked out. She saw Riley, her big brown eyes filled with concern.

Riley pulled Maya into a hug. " I don't care what it is Maya, we will get through this together" she promised.

"Nothing is wrong" Maya continued to lie. The last thing she wanted was for Riley to find out. She saw Riley as this innocent girl, who only ever wanted to find herself. _She can't do that if she is to busy looking after me_ Maya thought.

Riley searched her best friend's eyes for the truth, but found nothing. Something caught the corner of her eyes. She let out a small gasp.

Maya followed her gaze, to her wrist. Red strained through her long sleeve. Maya froze, she had not thought about this.

"Oh, Maya!" Riley exclaimed. Riley's big sister caring mode took over. She calmly and carefully took Maya' arm and put it under the sink. She began to tug at Maya's sleeve.

"Riley please don't" Maya begged, her voice only managed to be a whisper.

" I'm just going to wash the blood off, okay?" Riley said, her voice soft. "Riley, please" Maya begged again, but a little louder.

"Maya, I just want to help" Riley pulled her sleeve up. "No!" Maya yelled.

Riley flinched at her tone but continued washed the blood away, and dabbed it off with paper towel. "See Maya, I just wanted to- Riley cut herself off.

"Maya.." her voice trailed off. Maya's secret was exposed. Her cuts were on full display. _No, no no no_ Maya thought _this is not real. _

Maya looked at Riley, who looked like she was about to cry. But instead of crying, Riley got another paper towel and wrapped it around like a bandage. Riley pulled the sleeve over the paper towel. Then without much warning, she pulled Maya into another hug. But this one was tighter. Maya hugged back.

"Come on" Riley said softly. "Let's go" Maya bit her lip to avoid crying. Her worst nightmare came true. Riley held her hand, and led her out of the bathroom. Maya mindlessly followed, waiting for the moment she wakes up from the horrible dream.

Once she saw where Riley was leading her, she began to tug away. Riley turned to her. "Riley please" Her innocent eyes were almost in tears. The sight of Riley nearly broke Maya's heart.

"Okay" Riley look this as a signal for approval. So, they walked into Cory's classroom. Luckily for them, it was his planning period he had no class.

Cory was sitting at his desk, looking through papers. "Dad" Riley called. He looked up to see Riley who was nearly in tears and Maya who just stared at the ground. He got up and looked at the two girls. "Riley, what's wrong?" He asked. A single tear rolled down Riley's cheek. "Riley, honey" Cory was getting more worried by the minute.

"It's not me Dad" Riley finally said. "It's Maya" Maya looked up at Riley, afraid to look at him. Cory checked Maya's body for any signs of injuries. "Maya, are you hurt?" he asked.

Riley looked into Maya's eyes and squeezed her hand."It's okay, Maya" she whispered. Maya didn't move. So Riley look Maya's hand and faced her wrist towards her father. She pushed up Maya's sleeve and unraveled the paper towel. Her cuts were exposed yet again. Maya looked away from both Riley and Cory.

Cory gasped at the sight. He had no idea that Maya was in this much pain. "Maya" was all he managed to say. Maya put her hand behind her back. " You're done looking now" Maya said.

Cory took a deep breath, processing all of this. "As a teacher, I'm suppose to report this" He finally said.

"Daddy no!" Riley exclaimed.

_Great_ Maya thought._ Just great. He is to report me, I'm going to get sent to a mental hospital and Riley is never going to talk to me again. _

Maya felt her tears spill over.

"But as your best friend's father, I'm doing what I think is right. We are all going back home to discuss this." Cory said.

"There is still like three more classes to go" Maya argued, trying to avoid this. " Plus, I don't want to be a bother "

"You are not a bother" Cory said. "We can leave I will say it is a family emergency" he said as he gathered his stuff.

"Let's go"

* * *

Topanga sat on the couch, searching the internet for self harm articles. She got a text from Cory explaining everything. She put Auggie for a nap, and made Maya and Riley's favorite type of cookies and left them on the kitchen table. She couldn't believe that Maya would ever hurt herself. She always saw her daughter's best friend as someone who was confident, and strong. Topanga knew that something was off about her behavior lately. But she would have never guessed shed a tear for her daughter and her best friend. She was so worried about them both. She worries for Maya and how she views herself. She also worried for her daughter and how she handled it.

Cory walked in with a crying Riley and a sad looking Maya. "Hey girls lets have a little talk" Topanga said. Maya look a seat furthest away from her. Riley sat next to Maya, they are still hand in hand. The gesture comforted Maya.

"Cory tells me you self harm" Topanga said. Maya got up, jerking away from Riley's grasp. She tried to make a run for the door, but Cory stood there infront of the door.

"Maya, please" Riley begged. Maya sat back down, her hand found Riley's.

"You probably don't want to talk about why, and that is okay. I just want to see them, so I can clean them up okay" Topanga said.

Maya froze and stayed in place. She didn't want to be a burden. She was already enough peoples problem. She blamed herself for her parents constant arguing. She blamed herself for them hating each other. She didn't want to ruin anyone else's life.

"Maya, honey" Topanga moved closer to Maya, she tilted her chin and looked her in the eyes. "We care, okay. We want to help"

"Well don't" Maya said. "Stop caring. I am not your kid. I am not your problem" Maya said, her voice getting louder.

"You don't have to be our kid for us to care" Cory said. " You are not a problem" Topanga said. Riley leaned her head on Maya's shoulder. "Maya, you are practically my sister. Consider yourself family"

Maya wanted to faint, this can't be true. They aren't her family. They can't care this much, she tried to convince herself.

"I tired calling your parents- Maya cut Cory off.

"What? You called my parents?!" she rarely talked to them, she didn't want too. She felt ashamed looking at them.

"It was for the best Maya" Cory said. "They didn't answer. But you are staying here and we are going to take care of you"

"You have no business getting into my family life!" Maya argued.

"You are my daughter's best friend. I see you as one of my own. You can not tell me it isn't my business" Cory said. "Maya, we care about you"

Riley squeezed Maya's hand reassuringly. "So what am I suppose to do? Just barge into your life? Be some case you have to solve? What, just because my parents argue, you think I need to run away to some other home? I am nobody's issue" Maya said.

"Maya" Riley said. " You aren't an issue. Can't you see we all love you?"

" I don't deserve it" Maya said, as she felt her tears come. " I don't deserve your love or your help"

Riley's heart broke at her best friend's words. How could someone she found so amazing, hate herself.

"Maya, sweetie" Topanga said. " You deserve love"

"and happiness" Cory said.

"and love and every other amazing thing this world has to offer" Riley finished.

Riley wiped away Maya's tear.

"Alright, let me clean your cuts okay? Then I'm going to let you and Riley talk it out" Topanga said.

Maya stayed in place, she never had anyone clean her cuts before. But today was the first of many things she never imagined happening.

Topanga got the first aid kit and cleaned Maya's cut while Riley held her other hand. Once she was done, Topanga gave both girls light kiss on her forhead. "I'll leave you girls alone" Her and Cory left the room, leaving the two girls alone.

"You have to stop trying to save me Riley. I'm not worth it" Maya said, her eyes betraying her. More tears fell.

''Are you kidding me?" Riley asked. "You are worth saving" She shakingly put her hands over Maya's wrist, and rubbed her bandaged wrist lightly.

'' Maya, you could die doing this" Riley said, looking her into her eyes. " Accidentally or on purpose" Riley began to cry again. Maya's self hatred only grew stronger. She hated herself for doing this to her best friend. Maya closed her eyes tighter, more tears fell. "Riley, please stop" she couldn't deal listening to this.

Then Riley did something that surprised Maya. Her soft voice gone. "Maya you are my best friend! I love you!" Both girls shed more tears. "We said we are going to face this world together. Maya, let us care"

Maya felt more tears, but tried to stop them. She didn't want to dump all of her problems and pain on Riley. Riley hugged her, Maya leaned onto her shoulders. Riley smoothed her hair, as she tried to contain her cries before they turned into loud sobs.

"It's okay Maya," Riley whispered. "Cry it out"

So Maya did.

**a/n: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you again for everyones amazingly kind and encouraging words. There might be one or two more chapters after this.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Heyyy everyone! I just wanted to say thank you so much for the amazing amount of encouragement on this story, thank you to everyone who made over 50 reviews possible! This is my most reviewed story so I am so shocked and happy right now. That is truly incredible and means so much to me. It is unbelievable that the story has so many reviews and it is only three chapters in! That really makes me happy, and I'm glad that people like the story. So thank you once again. Shoutouts for reviewing: Thank you: cowgirlangel95, Smileychameleon, Jadebreeze95, Kdzgirl1129, HPMarvel, Addictive Fanfic Reviewer, Swiftie24, Ann-Elise, girlecupcake15, itsyourboyjp, LESHONTE, Madi, Jeremy Shane and MSFTSrep! I really wish I could thank you guys personally because it really does mean a lot.*Virtual hugs for everyone!* **

Cory and Topanga decided to check up on the girls a half an hour later. They walked in the living room and saw that the two girls fell asleep on the couch.

"Awww" Topanga said. "They look so cute" Riley was fast asleep, head on the pillow and her arms around Maya. Maya's head was leaning on Riley's stomach. Her hair was covering most of her face. Topanga noticed the empty cookie plate and cookie crumbs all over the girls.

Both girls looked happier in their sleep. " I just wished they could wake up with that same smile" Cory said with a sigh. Topanga leaned her head on his shoulders. "They are going to be okay" she said reassuringly.

"I'm going to move them to Riley's room" Cory said trying to keep his voice low so Riley and Maya didn't wake up.

"Okay, I'm going to go fix up the bed" Topanga said as she went into her daughter's room. Cory carried Riley into her room, and laid her on her bed. Putting her head on her favorite heart shaped pillow, a gift from Maya. Then he carried Maya and carefully put her next to Riley without putting pressure on her wrist. Topanga pulled up the covers on the girls. She kissed them both on the cheek. "Goodnight girls" she whispered.

She walked over to Cory, then as they exited the room he whispered " Sweet dreams"

* * *

The next day Maya woke up dazed and confused. She stretched as all the events from yesterday hit her. She sighed, hating herself for letting this get out of control. She couldn't believe that she broke down last night. After all the times she lied and tried to hide her secret. All her work was useless. _Riley!_ She thought. She scanned her best friends room looking for her. "Riley" she called, she turned around and found her best friend fast asleep. She sighed in relief.

Riley looked so happy when she slept. Maya really began to wish yesterday didn't happen. She wanted that smile on her face forever. Then one thing hit Maya._ We fell asleep on the couch,_ she thought._ How did we get here? _

Maya tried to wake Riley up, hoping for an explanation. "Riley, rise and shine" Maya said. Riley woke up, and took in her surroundings. She looked as lost as Maya did. "How did we get here?" Riley asked, looking at Maya.

" I was hoping you were going to tell me" Maya said.

"Good morning girls" Topanga said, walking in the room with Cory by her side.

"Good morning mommy" Riley replied with a smile.

"Good morning Mrs. Matthews" she said still avoiding her eyes. She didn't want to look at them. They know about her cutting. Nothing would ever be the same.

"How did we end up in here?" Riley asked her parents.

"Well, since you guys fell asleep on the couch I carried you here" Cory explained.

"Thanks daddy" Riley said with her bright smile. She wanted to keep things normal for now. She did't want to pressure Maya into talking. Riley was she proud when Maya let out her emotions last night. But her heart broke when she saw Maya's cuts. All she wanted was for her to be happy.

"You carried me?" Maya asked, in shock. She could barely remember the last night someone moved her from the couch to her room. She was a little kid back then, probably six or seven. Before her parents arguing got really bad. She spent countless amount of nights asleep on the couch at her house, and woke up on the couch, Nobody was home to move her to her bed. Even if someone finally made it home, she doubted they cared for her comfort enough to move her.

"Yes, Maya. I did" Cory answered.

"Okay. So we have decided you girls both deserved a day for yourselves and there is things we still need to talk about" Topanga said. " So no school today"

Usually a sentence like that would cause Maya to be beyond happy. But she couldn't smile. She knew today was going to be as heavy as yesterday. Possibly even worst in a way, because the question of why she cut was never answered. She also knew that she still had her little weapon of self destruction in her back pocket. She was hoping they didn't take it away.

"So you girls go get ready for the day and the pancakes will be waiting for you" Topanga continued.

"Okay" Both Maya and Riley said.

They went to go freshen up and made their way to the kitchen table. While Topanga and Cory were eating, Auggie was drawing something.

"What are you drawing Auggie?" Riley asked curiously.

"A picture" he replied. Maya smiled at his answer. Riley laughed.

"Oh, really? What picture are you drawing?" Riley asked.

"A heart" Auggie answered.

"Making a card for your older woman?" Cory teased.

" No, it is for Maya" Auggie replied. Maya was suprised. Her and Auggie never really talked as much as the other members of the Matthews family. Mainly because she had nothing much to discuss to a five year old.

"Me?" Maya asked just to make sure.

Auggie smiled. "You are the only Maya here" He walked over to Maya and gave her the card. It was a drawing at red heart and the words feel better were written in adorable little kid handwriting.

"Mommy and daddy told me you weren't feeling very well" Auggie explained. "So I wanted to make you a card"

"Thank you Auggie" Maya said, giving him a hug.

Auggie smiled at her then went back and to his seat to eat.

"Maya?" Auggie asked.

"Yes, Auggie" Maya answered.

"Why do u have a bandage?" Auggie asked. It was innocent question. But it was difficult to answer. She didn't know what story his parents told him about her. She didn't want to mess it up.

Maya froze. She looked at Riley for help.

"She got a boo-boo Auggie" Riley said.

"Oh, okay" Auggie said, getting another piece of paper and continued drawing. "Hey Auggie, can you pass me a pink marker?" Riley asked.

Auggie passed her a pink marker. Riley took Maya's bandaged covered wrist, and drew a heart on the bandage.

"So you know I'll always love you" Riley said. Maya couldn't believe it. After everything that happened yesterday, Riley still loved her.

Maya pulled her into a tight hug. "I love you too, little plant" Riley smiled at her nickname.

Everyone finished eating.

"Alrighty Auggie, let's get up to your room, buddy. You can watch as much t.v. as you want" Cory said, taking Auggie and leading him into his room.

Topanga looked at Maya and Riley. " I know today is going to be difficult. But we are going to get through it, okay?"

They both nodded.

"Okay Maya. Why don't we start with a basic question. What did you use?" Topanga asked.

Maya looked away. She fought with herself mentally if she should just give her razor blade to them. She really didn't want too. But at this point she knew she had too. With Riley sitting there, looking at her in concern. Riley's hand finding hers again. The heart that Riley drew gave her a boost she needed to talk to them. But a voice in her mind begged her not too.

Maya sighed, she got the blade from her pocket. "Um, here" she said awkwardly. Topanga took it, and left it on the table. "Thank you, I know that took a lot of effort. I'm proud of you"

_She was proud?_ Maya thought. She was so confused._ Why is she proud? I didn't do anything special._

"So, do you feel comfortable talking about why?" Topanga asked.

Maya looked at Riley, she gave her a reassuring smile. "You can do it Maya" she whispered encouragingly.

Cory came back and sat down next to Topanga.

"I started a little while ago. It has been less then a year. But I felt like I have been doing it for longer." Maya started. Riley squeezed her hand.

"I feel like it's all my fault, you know? My parents hate each other. They always said they stayed together for me. I feel like I'm the reason they are unhappy. They never directly told me it was my fault. But I just felt like it was. I know it was. They hate each other so much. I was a mistake. A terrible mistake. I wish they could face each other, already.I don't want them together. I'm so scared that one day, I'll be like them. Unhappy. I don't want to be like that." Maya admitted, fighting back her tears.

"They argued and cursed. They would shout and yell. Some days they are home yelling, and some days they never come hoping to avoid each other. I hate it so much. I'm just so tired of it. One night, when neither of them were home. I started. I was reading a book, and one of the characters cut herself. It contemplated with the idea all night. Then finally, I did it. At first it hurt. But it never compared to the pain I felt when they argued. It was my way of releasing my pain." Trying to put her feelings into words was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. She felt her tears coming.

"I know you might think I'm crazy and stupid. I just don't want anyone to see me as pathetic. I didn't want anyone to know. I figured no one would care. I don't want to be anyone's burden. I just, wanted to feel okay. In some explainable way, when I cut I felt okay" Maya then let her tears flow freely. She saw that everyone was looking at the table, she went for the razor blade, without being physically aware she did. She quickly pulled away.

She leaned her head on Riley's shoulder, and cried. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry" she said as she cried.

Riley rubbed her back. "My Maya, nothing is your fault. You are not your parents, okay? You are going to live this beautiful, happy life" Riley promised.

Maya looked up. "Why do you guys believe in me, so much?" she asked.

"Because we know you. We know you are an amazing person. Who is worth it." Topanga said. She got a trash bag, and moved it towards Maya. "Now, I know you can throw that razor blade away"

Maya shakingly grabbed it. _You can do this, Maya._ she told herself. She slowly put it in the trash bag.

Riley hugged her. "Maya, I am so proud of you" Riley wiped her tears. "You should proud too" she said to Maya.

Maya felt a small sense of hope. Nothing big, her thoughts on herself forced to be stained with self-hatred in the dark corners of her mind. But she felt a little bit better.

Cory grabbed a marker. He looked at Maya. "May I?" he asked motioning to her wrist. She stretched out her arm. He wrote the word _Strong. _

Topanga grabbed a marker and wrote _Smart_ and _Amazing._

Riley grabbed the purple marker. "I know it is your favorite color" she said.

She wrote _Beautiful_ and _Perfect_.

Maya felt like she was going to cry again. But it wasn't sad tears. It was happy ones. She had come to realize, she didn't need her family to help her. All she needed was people who cared. She loved the Matthews like family. Now she knows they love her the same.

She knew this wasn't going to easy. But she knew with The Matthews by her side, she knew she was going to be okay.

**a/n: There is it is, the last chapter. I hope everyone liked the ending. I didn't want to drag on the story. Originally this was going to be a majorly long one-shot. But then I figured it was better in chapters. So I'm sorry if it was short and not what you expected. I didn't want the ending to be picture perfect and have Maya magically healed. So I tried to keep the tone happy, but not to the point where it in unrealistic. As a former self-harmer, it is really really hard. So I wanted to show that having hope and happiness is possible, but things aren't going to magically be better. Anyway, thanks to everyone who favorited and followed and reviewed. Thanks for making over 50 reviews possible. It truly amazing. I've received a tremendous amount of support and love on this fic, so thank you! **

**Also I've had some songs that I listened to while writing this that reminded me of the friendship between Maya and Riley. The songs are Two Worlds Collide by Demi Lovato and Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne. I hope you listen to them, they are amazing. **

**Enjoy your day, **

**xoxox**

**-Summer **


End file.
